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Diarrhea in the Mall


You’ve had diarrhea for a few days at home and even had to take some time off from work. You decide to go to mall on a Saturday to buy medicine to help solve your problem a little bit quicker. You check the pharmacist’s website and the medicine equals to exactly how much money you have left in your bank account. You get to the mall and see it’s swarming with people. You stand in-line at the bank and withdraw your last bit of cash. Suddenly your stomach cramps up, you know shit is going to fall out… and soon. You dash to the nearest toilet with shit already coming out and staining your underpants, but unbeknownst to you, the whole bathroom you’re going to is actually ‘out of order’.

You take a nice wet shit, so wet and so wild that shit splatters all over the toilet and your bum cheeks. You reach over to grab some toilet paper, but there’s none. You call out for help, asking for someone to pass you some toilet paper. No one is there. You muster up the courage to look through the other stalls for toilet paper (with shit dripping down your leg onto the floor), but there’s nothing. Your underpants won’t work, you have no socks and you can’t take off your shirt or pants to clean yourself up. At that point you realize you only have two choices.

You can see your diarrhea is serious, so you have to tough it out, pull up your pants, go to the pharmacist with shit running down your legs and buy your medicine. Obviously people will know what’s going on and will avoid you, be repulsed by you and scold you. You will be mortified and will probably never want to show your face in a mall again. Your second choice is to use your freshly withdrawn yet last bit of cash to clean up all the shit on your bum cheeks. Naturally, you won’t have any cash left to buy your medicine and you’ll have to go back home: defeated, broke, sick, but at least not mortified. What will it be?

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