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Why Christianity Is BS

Incrementum

For thousands of years many souls have been tormented, tortured, enslaved and killed over this religion. Yet somehow a lot of Christians still see God in a good light, therefore they go to church, sing to him, pray to him, and judge each other because of him, and some of these pastors molest young girls and boys while serving God. When I was young, still a growing teenager in a church I once called home (Good News Discipling Church), around people I once called family, I was a victim of this crime too. Our ‘back then’ senior pastor Petrus Maanda Mamuhohi, molested me. He would touch me on my breasts, my vagina and would kiss me on my lips, I was still a minor under the age of 18. He took advantage of my trusting parents and did all of that under their noses. He was so evil, he’d make me think that I was special, I was special to be touched by him, I was special to be kissed by him, I was special enough that he’d make me sit on his lap with my legs open facing him, it was sick and I was naive and foolish to trust him. I was so special that I got to keep this secret for him, of that he made sure. He even said to me I was so mature upstairs (in my mind) that he wished I was his wife. I know many of you who know this man will be tempted to think he would never do that, and you’d be so wrong. Not only did he do that, but he did it at the most inappropriate times as well: one night after a church crusade, he took a few kids and dropped them off home in his red car, it was a Toyota I think, then after all the kids were dropped off, it was just me and him alone, while I was crying because we just watched the Passion of the Christ and it was sad that Jesus was tortured for my sins, he put his hands inside my panties and touched my vagina, and said some nonsense to me I can’t remember for the life of me. This “relationship” we had went on for 3 years, and two of those years being the most traumatic years then. I remember the chain reaction which started all this shit. In the church at age 15, I was in a relationship with a guy at church who was also in the band, I loved him, we were good. His friend was a friend of my mom’s, and one night he came to tell her that in the band there are two people “secretly” in a relationship: Me and my boyfriend. Because I had this relationship behind my mom’s back who wanted to protect me from everything relationship wise, she didn’t know about us. That night when her friend left, I felt so guilty I had to tell her,  long story short, I told her he was talking about me and my boyfriend. I saw her face drop in disbelief and disappointment, I had betrayed her trust. So I thought I should kill myself instead. I ran away to the church office to sleep there, she came and knocked but I ignored her and continued to plan my life’s exit. Mom trusted the Pastor so much, she called him that night telling him what had happened, and I did not know. The next morning at around 5am, I wake up after a night of wrestling with death. I had a plan: Go to the pastor’s house, tell him I’m quitting the band and say goodbye,  then go to the local farmer and get some stuff to end my life in a ditch somewhere. When I got to the pastor’s house, he was up to date with what happened, so he took me into his arms, and told me that he loves me. My face was swollen from all the crying, my eyes were brown, I was finished. He then told me: there is a kiss from a father and a kiss from a lover, then he kissed me on my lips (like French kissing) and told me he loves me as a father, not a lover and the rest is history. I know its been more than 10 years since all this happened, and for all those years this has never stopped tormenting me, nightmare after nightmare as I wake up soaked in sweat and traumatized by the shit memories I have from that time, and the knowledge that he still went on to do this to another girl in our church, he’s a pedophile monster who deserves to end up in a place much worse than hell.

God is evil, his servants are evil too. When I used to read the scriptures which said God knows everything, created everything and can do anything, on the surface it sounded good. It’s when I dug deeper to find God where I really saw how fucked up God is: He exists by himself and  created everything, meaning he created the devil too, yeah? Everything about the devil was created by God, his emotions and his evil intentions. Meaning that, if God knows everything, he surely knew that the devil would rebel, so why create him in the first place? He also created Adam and Eve knowing that they would fail his impossible test, because he created a snake that should tempt Eve. Then after they failed, he tossed them out of the garden of Eden. As evil as God is, many people still worship him, even when he says in the scriptures that he creates evil, people don’t care about that. They just don’t want to end up in hell, not knowing that the devil and God are the same guy, playing with their emotions. Coz God says he’s good and the devil is bad, but they are one and the same creature with just two faces. God is evil, because he created the evil in the dEVIL, in fact, God is more evil than the devil, coz the devil is only a product of God. So this heaven that people go to when they die and come back, is most probably a mirage or a trap designed to lure other unsuspecting people in, coz I can’t imagine that this evil guy has something nice to offer anyone. So while you rush to end up in heaven, you might want to readjust your bearings and prepare yourself for the worst, coz you were deceived. You are being catfished into heaven by the most evil being there possibly is, so imagine what you will find when you walk into heaven after your death. Good luck getting out of that one.

Why Creare Training Center is an evil place.

After all that gibberish, I went and left the church after Matric to go study music at a Christian place called: Creare Training Center in Bloemfontein. At Creare things started off okay too, all first years had to do a course called FFI, in this course we had to visit our traumatic pasts and see where Jesus was during all that. I remember saying I see him standing there while the pastor was molesting me. Guess what? Jesus did nothing about it, coz it was his plan, to make me “stronger”. Pastor Cornelis (senior pastor of Our Father’s Home church) knew about my past, and he was supposed to protect me from such harm again. Instead, in the year 2015 I was in a tour team with Samantha and Reinhardt, and Reinhardt was just another Pastor Petrus in the making. You see, I have a history of Epilepsy, and that triggered by stress leads to seizures. When I would be in a seizure, someone would have to be nearby to make sure I don’t choke in puke and die, or to just keep me safe. Reinhardt was kinda always there, but not just there, he would touch my breasts, give me mouth to mouth I did not need (kiss me), and whatever else he left out in the confession. One night while we were in White River, at a “student house” without a host, just us the team, he asked Pastor Cornelis to sleep in our room (where Samantha and I slept) because his room was “too hot”. Without consulting us, or at least give us a heads up, pastor Cornelis gave Reinhardt permission to sleep in our room. Not in the lounge where there was a fan also, and couches, but our room. Then during the night, while I was asleep (knocked out from strong Epilepsy medicine), Reinhardt came to my bed and started touching me all over my body, even touching my vagina. Then the next morning he says to me he spoke to Pastor Cornelis about what happened last night, and we’ll talk about it in Bloemfontein. I experienced all of the stuff he did to me in a dream-like state, but was not too sure so I let it go. Then later when we got to Bloemfontein, he confessed everything (as it was in my dream that night, leaving out a few things, in an attempt to not sound that fucked up) at a team meeting where Samantha had to be sent out of the room according to Reinhardt’s wishes. Pastor Cornelis took that whole situation and blamed it on me, why did I sleep without a shirt on, in a room where only two girls are sleeping on different beds and it’s hot? It’s like putting a porn magazine in front of a guy and expecting them to not be tempted he said to me. In a meeting with Jolene and the Pastor Cornelis, it was suggested that I sleep with a sports bra on (a sports bra for fuck’s sake), and Jolene provided me with her old one, just incase another guy is allowed to sleep in my room without my consent. After that, I was removed from church duties as my punishment, I was not allowed to be involved in anything, while very soon after that, Reinhardt was leading worship on stage, and he was in the clear. Because I was blamed for everything, I was devastated and got really depressed, and I left the next year (2016-June) and I attempted suicide a few months after that.

So it’s fair for me to say I don’t believe in religion anymore, because religion is a bandage to a wound which never heals, just rotting and dripping all kinds of juices, teamed with infections causing death to the victims in slow motion. I’m asking you to rip that bandage off (if you’re religious), and let the wound air out, so you can stand a chance at healing. Don’t you see how meaningless it is to pray? To worship? To pretend to feel the good presence of God, coz if you felt his true presence, you’d most definitely run for your life. Coz his pure presence is filthy, stinky and evil, more evil than the devil himself. All those deep evil voices we tend to imagine the devil sounds like, God sounds worse, so much so that you’d not want to ever hear his voice again if you truly knew him.

There is so much more to this story, you can visit the rest of my website to see everything there.


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